Causative Verbs
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
—Albert Einstein
Some causative verbs imply, suggest, or explain that something will, has, or would happen. Often, causative verbs tell the reader the result/effect of what will, has, or would happen, instead of showing the reader what or how it happened.
Like cause-and-effect, causative verbs are acceptable in other points of view, but not for Deep POV.
Reasons to remove causative verbs:
- Makes the sentence more to the point and forceful.
- Eliminates sounding like author intrusion.
- Eliminates explaining or implying what will, has, would, or might happen.
- Eliminates plot stopper/speed bumps.
Some causative verbs to look for:
| allow |
allowed |
allowing |
| cause |
caused |
causing |
| enable |
enabled |
enabling |
| force |
forced |
forcing |
| have |
had |
having |
| help |
helped |
helping |
| hold |
held |
holding |
| keep |
kept |
keeping |
| let |
letting |
— |
| make |
made |
making |
| persuade |
persuaded |
persuading |
| require |
required |
requiring |
Note:
An adjective, a noun, a pronoun, or another verb can follow these causative verbs.
Issue: (causing)
A mortar shell exploded twenty yards from Sam, causing him to cringe.
♦ The reader sees the explosion, but then the reader is told the effect. This sentence tells the result of the explosion. There is also the issue of the to-do phrase “to cringe.”
Read the To-do Phrases in the Writing page.
Fix:
A mortar shell exploded twenty yards from Sam. He cringed.
♦ Removing the causative verb makes this sentence more to the point.
Or.
A mortar shell exploded twenty yards from Sam. He cringed and dove to the ground.
Issue: (made)
The smoke from the burning timber made Joe cough.
♦ This sentence tells the reader the result of the burning timber.
Fix:
The smoke from the burning timber swirled. Joe coughed.
♦ The reader is smart and knows the smoke caused Joe to cough.
Issue: (get)
Why get your hands dirty?
♦ This sentence can be better. You do not need “get.”
Fix:
Why dirty your hands?
♦ Most of the time, simplicity is better.
Issue: (allowing)
Sam tossed a loaded magazine at his buddy, allowing his companion to continue the fight.
♦ This sentence has two issues. A to-do phrase
“to continue” and a causative verb
“allowing.” Read the
To-do Phrases page about his topic.
Fix:
Sam tossed a loaded magazine at his buddy, and his companion continued the fight.
♦ This sentence is more direct and to the point.
Picture this:
Sam is the POVC. He is a soldier in a foxhole under attack. His companion is a few yards away. The firefight is getting desperate.
Issue:
Sam cringed and wiped the sweat and dirt from his face. Damn. No good.
Bullets pulverized the surrounding ground. In the foxhole, three yards to his right, his buddy’s M4 fell silent. Shit, was his buddy hit or out of ammo. Desperation crept in.
“Sam, I’m out.” A voice barked from the silent fox hole.
Sam grinned. His buddy was alive. He grabbed a near-empty can of ammo and tossed it to his buddy, allowing his buddy to load the empty magazines.
♦ This scene was fine until the word “allowing” appeared. It’s like cruising down a road, and out of nowhere, there’s a speed bump. I call this a plot hit.
Fix:
Sam cringed and wiped the sweat and dirt from his face. Damn. No good.
Bullets pulverized the surrounding ground. In the foxhole, three yards to his right, his buddy’s M4 fell silent. Shit, was his buddy hit or out of ammo. Desperation crept in.
“Sam, I’m out.” A voice barked from the silent foxhole.
Sam grabbed a near-empty can of ammo and tossed it to him. In a few seconds, his buddy’s M4 cut loose.
♦ This reads better without using the word “allowing.”
In Summary:
Most of the time, causative verbs tell or explain to the reader that something will, might, or is going to happen. The goal of Deep POV is to show, be more direct, and to the point. Think of causative verbs as plot stoppers or speed bumps. Causative verbs stop or slow down the rhythm and flow of storytelling.