Writing Tips - To-do Phrases

To-do Phrases

“Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Inspire me and I will get involved.”

—Benjamin Franklin, paraphrasing Buddha

Sometimes, it is okay to tell, but not always. In Deep POV, the goal is to show what is happening and not tell or explain the reason to the reader. Just show the evidence and the reaction.

To-do phrases, also known as full infinitive or to-infinitive phrases, are used to tell (explain) why a character does something (this or that).

These to-do phrases often replace “in order to” phrases.

Most of the to-do phrases begin with “to”. But others exist. Watch for to-do phrases that start with because, by, and with. An action verb or adverb follows these four clue words.Identifying these to-do phrases can be tricky, but with practice, you will spot them.

These snicky to-do phrases cause wordiness, and if used often, will cause a literary echo.

Note:

You cannot reword every instance of a to-do phrase (full infinitive or to-infinitive) in your manuscript, but you will find many you can.

Clue words:

because
by
to
with

A few common to-do phrase examples:

because	to find	to regain
by	to fly	to remove
in order to	to focus	to rush
to	to get	to scream
to accept	to go	to see
to act	to grab	to show
to ask	to have	to sit
to avoid	to hear	to sleep
to be	to imitate	to stead
to begin	to impress	to stop
to believe	to keep	to take
to check	to keep	to tell
to deal	to kill	to test
to depend	to live	to thank
to die	to look	to think
to drag	to make	to touch
to drop	to open	to twist
to evade	to panic	to view
to execute	to pay	to wait
to explode	to plan	to walk
to explore	to provide	to watch
to fall	to reach	with
to fight	to recognize	-

Issue: (to kiss)

Joe scooted closer to kiss Sue.

♦ Grammatically, this sentence is correct. But this is explaining/telling why/how Joe is doing something.

Fix:

Joe scooted closer and kissed Sue.

♦ Removing the to-do phrase “to kiss” reads better.

Issue: (with the)

The knife slid off the table. Joe caught it, but he cut his fingers with the sharp blade.

♦ There is nothing wrong with this sentence. But if you want to write tighter and deeper, this violates Deep POV principles. This is explaining/telling why/how Joe cut his fingers.

Fix:

The sharp knife slid off the table. Joe caught it, but he cut his fingers.

♦ Removing the explaining/telling to-do phrase “with the” makes this sentence more to the point.
Or.

The sharp knife slid off the table. Joe caught it, and blood dropped from his hand.

♦ This sentence reads better. It has more imagery. Here, the word “cut” is not used. The reader knows by the blood dripping that Joe cut his hand. This imagery boosts the reader’s imagination.

Realated:

To-do phrases (infinitives) can be made worse by starting the phrase with the word forms of “begin, start, want, turn, and try.”

These phrases make a sentence wordy and ambiguous, a common issue with novice writers.

Examples:

began to run	starts to cry	turning to look
begin to run	tried to run	turns to look
beginning to run	tries to run	want to cry
begins to run	try to run	wanted to cry
start to cry	trying to run	wanting to cry
started to cry	turn to look	wants to cry
starting to cry	turned to look

If something is happening, cut the wordiness and show what is happening.

Issue: (began to run)

Sue began to run into the alley.

♦ Did Sue run or not? If she ran, why say “began to run?”

Fix:

Sue ran into the alley.

Issue: (started to fall)

Snowflakes started to fall on the windowsill.

♦ Did the snowflakes fall or not? Get to the point.

Fix:

Snowflakes fell on the windowsill.
Or.

Snowflakes floated in the air and settled on the windowsill.

Issue: (wanted to run)

Sue wanted to run into the alley.

♦ If Sue is undecided about running into the alley. If that is the case, say so. Otherwise, get rid of “wanted to run.”

Fix:

Sue ran into the alley.

♦ This reads better, to the point, and less wordy. What if you want to show Sue hesitating before running into the alley?
Or

Sue scanned the dark alley, took a deep breath, and darted into the alley.

Issue: (tuned to look)

Sue turned to look at her boyfriend.

♦ This is explaining/telling.

Fix:

Sue faced her boyfriend. Or

Sue locked her gaze on her boyfriend.

In Summary:

The more you avoid these pesky to-do (full infinitive, to-infinitive) explaining/telling phrases, the tighter your writing will become. Doing this will also enhance the plot.

Yes, some writers use the “begin to, start to, want to” phrase to show a pause in the action (motion).

But eliminating most of these telling, wordy phrases will make your writing more to the point and more engaging for the reader.